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Begin with the end in mind.

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not only did I rush & leave my rice cooker.. [Nov. 11th, 2009|08:24 am]
Begin with the end in mind.
I left the christmas tree & all my ornaments.
I bet no one even looked out there.
So mother fucking camden threw them away..awesome.

I'm so upset right now.

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what kind of guy.. [Nov. 8th, 2009|10:11 am]
Begin with the end in mind.
Doesn't like sex?
I ask for it cause he tells me to.
I tell him what I want cause he asked me to.
So now that I say what I want when I want it, it bothers him?

Take a break that's fine..
I'm JUST saying.

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nine eggs a day.. [Nov. 6th, 2009|08:23 am]
Begin with the end in mind.
[Current Mood |sweaty]

Day two of eating 1,200 calories & walkng 45 for minutes. The walking is great..but the not eating is driving me nuts.
Like, eating 400 calories a meal is difficult.
So I think I'll stick to three eggs & water.
My doctor is telling me that if I do as she says I'll lose 12 pounds in six months.

Oh back up, rewind!

I can't get the weight loss surgery just yet. I need to be on a six month superived diet.
Okay.. Back to what I was saying.

That totally bummed me out..cause its like, so I'm cutting back calories & walking.
Uh huh..
She's expecting me to lose two pounds a month.
WHAT!?
I lost ten pounds in a week & I only walked for 30 minutes a day & only cutting down how much I eat.
Teh fuck. Idk. She's the doctor right?
I want this so bad, so I'll do it.
& she tells me "maybe you'll be motivated & won't need the surgery."
Uhm, look..if I lose twelve pounds in SIX months, I won't be motivated at all and where will that leave me? Still overweight ya dumb broad. Fuck that.

She wasn't sympathetic at all.
Its not that I'm lazy, I mean I am haha..its just that I've done one diet after another, slim fast & such. The weight comes off.. BUT there's no visable difference.
I could weigh 500 pounds, as long as I look like I weigh 150. I just want to LOOK good.
I hate going out in public. I hate feeling like everyone is staring at me.

Justin has a mandatory platoon thing this sunday & he doesn't want me to go if I don't want to & cause he knows I'll get mouthy with Cardeanas & Fowler..
But I don't wanna go cause I've heard the fat comments already, I don't wanna do it again.
It just looks good on him that I support him. Which I do, I just don't wanna be the fat girl ><. Ugh.

I'll do your fucking diet Jarl, but I think I know my body better than you.

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asdfghjkl [Oct. 29th, 2009|04:05 pm]
Begin with the end in mind.
[Current Mood |>_>]

I'm so pre menstrual right now.
fuck.



Time to start dinner.

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if I was thinner.. [Oct. 26th, 2009|10:10 pm]
Begin with the end in mind.
[Current Mood |meh >_>]

I'd probably be more attractive to my husband & he'd be more opt to having sex with me.

He really makes me feel fat.
At least he doesn't do it on purpose.



Meg is gone.
It was a good week.
I wish she could've stayed longer.
We went dress shopping, I think I found a dress.
I'm not too sure yet.

& Tammy finally called me back.
Text, rather.
So maybe now I can start making money.
Chasing around two toddlers will help me drop the twenty pounds I gained.
Slowly but surely..

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its teh sessy tyme [Oct. 26th, 2009|12:55 am]
Begin with the end in mind.
[Current Mood |^---^]

Yay, he's home :]

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oh &.. [Oct. 23rd, 2009|08:27 pm]
Begin with the end in mind.
[Current Mood |fingers crossed.]

Tammy is a flake.
I'll give her til monday.
If she flakes again, I'm moving on.

I emailed a couple who lives on base & they need a babysitter for their little girl, 7-5.
Which would work perfectly with justins schedule.
Yeah its full time, m-f, but I'm on base, its worth I, I think.

Wish me luck!

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two more days.. [Oct. 23rd, 2009|08:22 pm]
Begin with the end in mind.
[Current Mood |missing my love]

I got a text from justin..
Ah, that was nice.
I can't wait to see him :]

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I start working tomorrow.. [Oct. 22nd, 2009|09:53 am]
Begin with the end in mind.
[Current Mood |just woke up..]

I guess that's good news.
We'll see how it goes..

I'm going to Davids Bridal today to start looking for dresses.
I wish my mom could be here.

Justin will be home on sunday! :]
Miss you my love, so much.

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Writer's Block: Week in Review [Jun. 21st, 2009|09:54 am]
Begin with the end in mind.
[Tags|]
[Current Mood |annoyedannoyed]

What's the best thing that happened to you this past week?


I saw my husband.
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